Wow.
What a thing to think about? You spend so much time just pregnant. Incubating this tiny human being that will one day come out of with and continue to astound you for the rest of your life. 40 weeks. That's 10 freaking months of this little beings life literally connected to you. You are one.
And suddenly, there's a breath and then a baby. That first cry changes everything. I want to thank that anon account for that tweet. She brought back that memory for me in a rush. As I've said before, I struggle with my memory on a daily basis. It is very difficult for me to recall things from my memory and I lose a lot of time because of it. I wrote out my birth story the other day so I didn't miss any of that. But my brain kept parts from me.
The most important parts.
That last push and out she came, kicking and screaming into existence.
In that moment, my heart began a journey that my body could never again contain.
She was this beautiful, little girl. I was speechless. Tears pouring down my face and all I could do was stare. Even as the doctor helped me pass the placenta and stitched me back together, I just kept watching her across the room getting cleaned up and checked out. No words could ever explain those emotions. My heart simply leapt across the room before my very eyes and became this wonderful, perfect little person. Totally separate from me but at the same time so deeply connected.
per·ma·nent /ˈpərmənənt/ :
adjective
Lasting or intended to last or remain unchanged indefinitely.
I don't think it's possible to comprehend what that word really means until you give birth to your first child. All those months watching her grow and knowing she is part of you, none of it matters until she's there.
My life began with the birth of my child and I am forever grateful.
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