Every single day I find myself falling a little farther.
Every loving word you say making my heart beat a little harder.
I should have learned by now, you're just a moonlight Casanova.
Time keeps holding me still, all my defenses are simply pushed over.
Why can't we spend our nights merely looking at the stars?
A million miles couldn't keep me away, no absence is too far.
Maybe that is the way of the world, for everyone to keep their distance;
The only ones finding happiness are the ones lousy with persistence.
And if I die trying to wholly win your love,
Time will still hold me here, with you all I can think of.
This is good. There are some places that I feel could use a little simplification just for the flow of reading it. But the piece conveys a solid thought and paints, what seems to me, to be clear emotional picture.
ReplyDeleteIt almost feels like there is a feeling of accepted defeat in this poem. You start talking about how you're watching yourself fall and you're defenses have been taken out, but in the end you're still going to try and share more than you think this moonlight Casanova is willing to give of himself. The only real question I have is: Is the theme here unrequited love or losing someones love to a great distance (Emotional or literal)?
Keep at it Girly. You got some talent. looking forward to reading more.