Whoops.

So the last month and a half, we've been working on remodeling the bathroom in our house to make it accessible for A. The house is old so it requires a pretty fair amount of work. To start, the door was too narrow so we had to cut a new one into the wall so he could even get into the bathroom. Then we decided to add a roll in shower for him so he can shower on his own, safely. That involved commandeering the closet from the nursery, knocking out a wall, and closing it off. There was also cabinets in the bathroom that kept A from being able to get to the toilet, had to take those out. Doing that meant that 3 layers of flooring needed removed to get everything level. My bathroom has been partially demolished for almost two months and until it's done I can't finish the nursery here. 

Suffice to say, this has been driving me absolutely NUTS.  We are already almost 2k into purchasing things for the bathroom and the labor was supposed to be free. A's step brother said he would take care of it for us. Well A's step brother is chain smoking, abusive stay at home dad. The way he talks to his kids and disrespects everything makes me want to choke him. So I have this psycho working on my bathroom and yelling at his kids all the time. 

We also have a guy downstairs living with us who doesn't contribute ANYTHING and only rarely picks up after himself. There will be bags of trash in the kitchen and instead of taking it out, he will just continue to walk right by it. I hate that. If you see a mess and you have a chance, clean it up! Plus if I have him shovel the ramp and walk way, I have to double check to make sure it's done right or he won't think about A needing it cleared and won't do it. Inconvenient right? Look at me complaining like an asshole. 

So back to the bathroom, we are finally starting to make some progress which I'm really happy about but now A's step brother is starting to say we need to pay him for labor and he needs to bring a friend who will also be paid because he can't do it on his own. Which is exactly the opposite of what he maintained before. So I'm pissed off, again. I'm not working right now so seeing A have to spend money when he thought he wouldn't have to really makes me mad because it's just HIS money that HE works for and I'm not contributing. 

So the last few weeks I've been complaining up a storm about how inconvenient it is that I have to go downstairs to use the bathroom and take a shower. Complaining about how the trash smells and I wish the stupid roommate would stop being useless. Complaining about how long it's taking the bathroom to get finished. Complaining, complaining, complaining. 

A finally had enough. We got in a huge fight last night and I don't think I've felt as crappy as I did last night in a very long time. A sits there listening to me complain about things that I wouldn't be bitching about at all if he wasn't in a wheelchair. I'm such a pessimistic person by nature and I don't even realize how good I have it. Complaining about have to walk down a flight of steps to take a shower? A doesn't have that option, can't walk. It's been a month since he has had an actual shower. Complaining that the ramp needs shoveled and the trash needs taken out? He wouldn't need a ramp if he could walk and he could take the trash out to the street himself if he wasn't in a chair. There's so many things I've been complaining about lately that neither of us have control over. In my head, because A is so independent, I kind of forgot about the chair. Just because I did, doesn't mean A did though. I feel so horrible that for the last few weeks on an almost daily basis, I am slapping him in the face over and over again about things he can't do. It's not his fault. He's making the best of what he was given. So all those tweets from the last few weeks bitching? Yeah, I want to retract those. A has been working so hard to take care of me and the baby and pay the bills and do everything I want or need and I've been blind. He's probably the most forgiving man I know and I am very blessed to have him.

If any of you see me complaining about stupid things again, please don't be afraid to check me and remind me that I've got it easy in comparison to so many other people I know. 

I've got to go change a diaper blow out now, have a nice day. :)