Hippie.

I don't understand where the time went. Or where exactly everything started to go wrong. All I know is that this past year has been awful. I stayed in a crap relationship for way too long. I stayed at a job I hated for the same amount of time. I missed my opportunity in the military. I barely graduated, a year late might I add. I'm single now, working at a better job. I can get back into the military direction, and apply for college but it's like I'm stuck standing still. I can't move forward at all, christ, I can't even slip up and fall backwards.
I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm mature, I'm mildly attractive, my parents make sure I have what I need in regards to major things. My life is easy anymore. So why do I keep standing in my way? My past sucked, yeah. So does everyone elses. What makes my life any different? I see all these people moving on, being successful. I'm just sitting here lighting up again enjoying some good music.
It's not that I'm not happy. I just feel...restless. It's like I know something needs to change and it's right there almost within my grasp, but the colors blur outside my fingertips and I don't quite know where to look. I keep meeting people but I don't want anyone to stick around. I cut all my hair off and good lord do I feel unattractive anymore. I want to change so much, in my life and in other peoples lives. Things could be so much better.
Which makes me think of the religion thing, what is wrong with people? Don't you see all we need to do is have faith in something better and just do right and show kindness? Why is it greed has the ability to sway masses and cause so much harm? I sound like a hippie. This is just stupid but I'm so frustrated. I look around and it's like I'm surrounded by people that simply don't give a damn. Kids are having kids, parents don't care. Everyone is violent or poor. This is not a democratic nation and our leaders choose to let us slide further and further into oblivion. We are not some third world country waiting on a hand out but for some reason our population has begun to act like one.
Wake up people. Why can't you see the world is waiting and all you have to do is reach out and have it all? I'm learning how to let go and I see so many people who just bottle it up and explode at others and I can't help but wonder how I'm supposed to get stronger when the world is just hopeless.